• it takes a lot of energy to keep the masks in place
  • we are so creative in the ways we berate ourselves and in that, we can see the power of the mind
  • curiosity is the polar opposite of getting entrenched
  • Juliet talks about walking barefoot on the sticky mud on the estuary foreshore and how getting curious turned it from an unpleasant experience into one of wondering about the force of nature
  • anything we get curious about immediately becomes more appealing
  • however with some tasks we agreed, we don’t bring curiosity, we bring resentment, unwillingness, and reluctance.
  • when we realize the incredible power of thought and how we are experiencing life through our stories
  • Carla tells a great story about her years of resentment and loathing about doing the dishes and realizing that she was experiencing her story about the dishes. It wasn’t true, it had just been repeated so often that it had become a habit. She had an epiphany about her story being made up and that seeing made her cry. Nowadays she doesn’t have any particular thinking about the dishes, she just washes them.
  • knowing the mind can change is so powerful and hopeful and helps us not hold so tightly to anyone state of mind, opinion, or belief
  • the comedy when we see our own ridiculousness
  • how can you find curiosity when you’re not feeling curious?
  • as we begin to realize there is something unaffected by our ups and downs and the ups and downs of the world we get interested in looking away from our preoccupations and towards that deeper experience of being
  • it’s like looking away from the light cast by our desk lamp and realizing there’s a whole vastness beyond that circle of light
  • where are you placing your attention? Slowing down so you can allow the system to slow down
  • Carla talks with entrepreneurs who may not be aware of their own stress especially because they feel we have to hide it from others
  • Carla tells the story of dropping an F-bomb during online study hall when she thought she was on mute. She noticed a whole range of emotions rushing in, including shame but eventually she found herself settling down and getting curious about what had happened and was able to relax and accept her human-ness.
  • these disturbances are not the problem, they are just the alarm clock waking you up to yourself
  • one definition of depression is ‘knowledge withheld’
  • exploring what happens when we sink down below the fight, flight or freeze reactions rather than feeding the disturbance
  • the treasure is available when we go in or through the feelings
  • exploring how when we are faced with others’ discomfort we can try to calibrate their systems so we can calibrate our own system but that is not our business. Calibrating with that deeper part of ourselves – that’s our business
  • as we connect with that deeper part of ourselves, our thoughts and stories seem to get less interesting, we take them less personally
  • we can begin to see our stories rising and not feel so compelled by them
  • there is more to us than reactivity
  • our wellbeing is not dependent on what others are or are not doing
  • touching a feeling of ‘all is well’ a knowing that ‘it’s okay’ shows us there is more than to us than just what we can see, more than what we are feeling in the moment
  • it looks that the most helpful thing we can do is to point ourselves and others to that space of wellbeing for renewal and refreshment of the spirit
  • not so we can avoid action but as fuel for being an active, helping presence in the world
  • embracing our messy humanness and our spiritual groundedness because we are both
  • not seeing our humanness as a problem
  • we all make mistakes and do stupid things
  • we can touch our painful feelings but realizing we don’t have to take up residence there, can be life-changing. It’s not who we are.
  • what is available at a deeper level in any emotional state?
  • when we get curious, things can transform from a problem to a voyage of discovery
  • Carla tells a story of a client for whom a shift in perspective helped him to re-engage wholeheartedly because he’s not afraid anymore. He knows he can find his way through
  • when you feel the rigidity and dogma within you that is just your alarm clock to wake you up to curiosity and openness for something new to arise

Be sure to tune in next time!


Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 


Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare


If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are their topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.