Here’s what we explored:

  • internal and external division – to recognise the division within and be curious to fully feel that
  • notice a movement from stress in the head to feeling in the body
  • we want to run from divisiveness, what happens if we just get curious about it
  • Carla noticed how the grief welled up as she came on the call
  • being real means being authentic and honest in the messiness of being human
  • we are divine and messy humans
  • Carla noticed in conversation with someone how strongly both she and the other believe they are right – separate realities – division
  • walking in nature Carla describes beautifully how she missed it all because she was in her head going over past conversations
  • when we get exhausted, it looks harder to access equilibrium
  • what’s the pay off for getting stuck in painful, stressful thinking?
  • what’s the pay off for not being wedded to our personal thinking?
  • a fundamental shift from problem to solution, from pain to possibility
  • for Carla staying in her head is feeling safe and not having to go into the grief
  • going into the grief can be rich and healing
  • an image of dropping into a deeper feeling and bringing all the chattering thoughts along with you – what if they are not a problem?
  • inviting fear or anger along to teach us, show me how big and powerful you are
  • seeing how we create all this drama in our mind – shows the brilliance and power of the mind
  • Juliet tells the story of waking with low-level unease as if not wanting to leave something nicer in the sleep state
  • she saw how this was just an idea that has coloured many many mornings in her life
  • it’s just one idea or feeling state out of an infinite number of feeling states
  • the brilliance and power of the mind can bring us drama but also can flood us with joy
  • it’s the same power
  • every day we ignore and dismiss hundreds of thoughts that don’t look true or real to us
  • when we really start to see the illusory nature of our personal thought system gradually (or suddenly) loses our grip on us. It gets less compelling
  • In the book Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, Carla describes an experiment looking at the brains of meditators and how they react to the sound of a screaming woman
  • Brains scans show how the meditators demonstrated compassion while non-meditators reacted with fear
  • Carla describes the feeling of anger and divisiveness within her and she can’t see or feel compassion
  • Juliet invited Carla to lean into the feeling of divisiveness
  • grief wells up for Carla and a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness for her and her country
  • she wants to heal the divide within herself to help heal the divide in the world
  • the healing of Carla’s own sense of division is already underway
  • people are drawn to groundedness in others
  • Juliet talks of the power emanating from humans grounded in compassion and love
  • Juliet sees change coming from a change of heart, one by one
  • she gives the analogy of a baseball field on the one hand, where everyone is hitting each other with bats, and on the other hand a pop concert where phones are lit up and waving
  • gradually the people on the baseball field begin to notice the people at the concert are having a better time and start to drop the bats
  • when we drop the bats within our own psyche we move into love and compassion
  • Carla questions the authenticity of those who talk of loving others but not liking their actions. 
  • Juliet gets curious about self-responsibility. When we realise where our experience is coming from, there is nowhere to hide.
  • You realise you can’t give your responsibility away for how you feel and what you do. With no other people or circumstances to blame, what’s left? Accountability
  • the source of our experience is internal, not external
  • it brings up a reckoning for Juliet on self-responsibility which she’d like to avoid
  • Carla talks of Stacey Abrams who (with the help of others) mobilised voters in the state of Georgia with fierce love and compassion to do things that have never been done there before
  • Carla is interested in bringing the disowned parts of herself in so that she can help heal her country
  • when we are caught in our own mental dramas it weighs us down and creates exhaustion which can become a way of not taking responsibility and not getting into action
  • when we see the illusory nature of thinking and get in awe of the power that creates our experience, we experience more freedom of thought
  • trying to find freedom from a distressed, agitated state is really hard
  • in a distressed state, all we need is to be wrapped in an embrace of love

Sending love to all our listeners. If you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review and share on your networks.


– “Every storm runs out of rain” – Maya Angelou
– Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom by Yongey Mingyur, Eric Swanson

– Keith Blevens – 3P implications – You Tube clip

– Stacey Abrams – Guardian news article


Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

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