Here’s what we explored:

  • high achievers can feel excited to have certain things eg the right watch
  • but also there’s a pressure to live in certain places, wear the right things
  • and they report some incongruity and concern around these urges
  • having lived large and small, Carla’s preference is to live in a small, uncluttered space
  • we can get caught in a misunderstanding that our security or happiness rests in having certain things
  • it’s interesting to notice the arc of desire, anticipation, and satisfaction
  • the satisfaction remains for a while but before long there’ll be something else glittering on the horizon and so the cycle begins again
  • deep down we know wellbeing and security doesn’t reside in stuff
  • if you deeply know wellbeing and happiness come from within then there’s greater freedom around stuff – you can get and enjoy things with a lighter heart
  • what meaning are you putting on your possessions?
  • our material wealth says nothing about who we are at our essence
  • when we confuse where our wellbeing rests, we suffer, feeling tense around getting and keeping material wealth
  • we’re inundated with messages that point us in every direction (except within) to find happiness
  • it isn’t the availability of stuff but our perception of material possessions that gives us our experience
  • we relate to material possessions through our own stories, conditioning, and beliefs and this is often the source of our angst
  • tune in, before all our stories and from that still place, what is your feeling about this item?
  • Carla’s story about make up illustrates how our stories can fall away and when they do our behaviour may change
  • when we realise we are doing things, acquiring things, or presenting ourselves in ways that feel off, it is because deep down we know we have all we need inside so putting so much importance on stuff doesn’t resonate
  • the freedom comes when we don’t have so much riding on what we have, then we can get things that appeal to us and just enjoy them
  • the feeling of how we live moment to moment gives us our experience; not our possessions
  • as we understand deeper and deeper how our experience gets created, more and more of our stories get visible to us
  • the masks begin to drop away more and more and we get more real
  • the divine, the mundane, and the messiness are all part of who we are
  • the experience you are having at this moment is all you have: some feel lousy, some feel great
  • mostly we meet our experience through the complexity of layers and layers of stories and so life looks difficult and complex
  • our stories can act as barriers to others, increasing the feeling of separation
  • the super-rich often remove themselves from close contact with their community believing that gives them a better experience of life. Does it?
  • we all have periods of feeling insecure about relationships, jobs, money whatever our level of material wealth
  • the richness of experience available from within is in a different league to the buzz of a fancy meal or a nice car
  • as we discover inner peace, contentment, and joy that isn’t dependent on circumstance, we get to enjoy everything more because there is less on it
  • it goes way deeper and is way more nourishing than the short term dopamine hit of a new purchase
  • what you seek does not exist outside of yourself: it is within
  • a definition of success: being happy with who you are, what you have and what you do
  • when you start with being happy right where you are, you create more space, more possibility
  • happiness is available in any situation: in good times and bad times
  • when we are scared of losing things, it’s a sign we are confused about where wellbeing truly comes from
  • once we realise where well-being resides, there is so much more freedom to play the game of life

Quotes and References

  • @thefemalelead Instagram
  • Grace and Grit by Ken Wilbur

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.


Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

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