How Good Can it Get

Here’s what we explored:

  • we can let future worries steal current happiness
  • the other shoe IS going to drop and we can deal with that when it happens
  • Carla has noticed how her business is going really well even though she isn’t working really hard
  • we can feel uncomfortable with things going ‘too’ well
  • we may get used to a level of low-level anxiety, checking for potential danger
  • we may have a belief, success only comes from working really really hard
  • then when life is going well and it feels easy, one reaction is, ‘what’s wrong?’
  • Brene Brown talks about tamping down her excitement and joy at eg an invitation to speak in case it didn’t work out
  • she realised she was robbing herself of a ton of joy in the moment by not fully feeling
  • not wanting to look a fool if things don’t work out
  • how many other places are we denying ourselves appreciation and enjoyment of the good stuff?
  • when we decide something is a failure we can deny ourselves the joy we experienced along the way, eg when a relationship ends
  • it’s the journey not the destination
  • relationships end all the time, for all sorts of reasons
  • when we have a fixed idea of how things should go, we miss out on so much and create suffering
  • every relationship includes disappointment and joy, can we fully feel all of it?
  • we really have no idea how things ‘should be’ but we can get attached to our beliefs of how it should be
  • how could we possibly know ahead of time, all that is in store for us?
  • how good can it get when we take away some of our labels?
  • how good can it get when we calm our primitive brain that looks for danger?
  • it can feel unsafe to dwell on the good, the true, and the beautiful
  • but then we can often live in an experience of low or high-level threat
  • Carla helps clients to distinguish between where there is real danger and where there is not
  • we can look through the lens of our stories and construct a fearful future based on that which gives us the experience of constant threat
  • an example of someone who fears being burgled despite living in a relatively safe neighbourhood, in time, she was burgled – what can we see in that?
  • another example of a woman who had a lot of anxiety about visiting her mother who tended to criticise her. She expected to rake her over the coals because she’d put on weight
  • we can notice we are living this stressful story again and again in our imagination
  • we can notice how we might show up when we’ve been running this story over and over again: stressed, defended
  • Carla asked, can you drop the story and go with the most open heart possible?
  • what about people who go about defended because they’ve been attacked, are we saying they created their experience?
  • there’s a danger in making the victim the problem
  • recognising our thinking is generating the visceral response is massively helpful
  • you can notice this eg if you are afraid of flying, notice how you can experience all the anxiety of flying while sitting at your kitchen table, simply by thinking about it. That’s your imagination.
  • once you begin to see the power of the mind it opens up space
  • the next question is, ‘do I have to pay attention to these thoughts?’
  • for those who suffer trauma, the primitive brain response can be very powerful, the rational brain can seem to go offline – no time or space available.
  • if we can catch on to what’s going on when we are trauma triggered, it is helpful
  • it can give a little bit of space between the thinker and the response
  • we can recognise what might help at that moment eg stroking our pet, getting out in nature, talking to a friend
  • trying to use the rational mind to argue with a fearful, intense response is usually unhelpful
  • there is a deeper place, the bank of ourselves, looking towards that, helps find equilibrium
  • when we get eyes and ears for that space, we begin to appreciate it more and more
  • as we notice and appreciate the space more and more, the intensity and frequency of intense reactions can begin to lessen
  • as space opens up, a sense of choice about dropping our attention may become available
  • being a slow learner is a superpower because we learn things so well!
  • the mind is so powerful and our understanding of it can get more and more subtle
  • it is very difficult to see anything new in the middle of a trauma response because you are in a defended, fearful state.
  • on top of a strong fight, flight, freeze, faint mode we can add a whole bunch of scary thinking about the future: I’m broken, why am I like this, I’m never going to get over this, why can’t I get over this?
  • this type of thinking intensifies the stress response
  • if we explore the bank of ourselves when we are quieter we are more resourced and more likely to have insights into the nature of thought
  • the difference between pain and suffering
  • a trauma response can be the pain; the suffering comes with all the judgment we add on top of it when we analyze and make all kinds of meaning out of it – eg why haven’t I got over this?
  • as we recognise what’s happening, eg we are having a strong stress response, we get space to leave it alone, to heal (or dissolve)
  • like a wound, if we keep digging around in it, we will prevent the cut from naturally healing
  • we are made to handle life, keep looking in this direction

Quotes and References

  • Find Brene Brown on YouTube

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word, we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 

CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

CONNECT WITH US!

If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.

Riffing on Freedom

Here’s what we explored:

  • we have lots of ideas about where freedom lies
  • we may think lots of money would give us freedom
  • Carla notices financially highly successful people experience high motivation when they begin their enterprises. It was fun
  • Carla notices the same people can get weighed down worrying about maintaining their finances, scared of losing their money
  • we may think more time would give us more freedom
  • some people turn to self-employment thinking they would be free of the tyranny of the 9-5
  • yet sometimes micro-entrepreneurs found they were working longer hours and had less freedom
  • when we make changes to ‘get more freedom’, the reality doesn’t always match up to our vision
  • it’s interesting how we get caught in an illusion that different circumstances will give us freedom
  • there is another kind of freedom that everyone wants, freedom of mind
  • many of us have a negative inner narrative that is dramatic and critical
  • when we take our thinking less seriously, we find freedom: to see more possibilities, enjoy life more, and feel more alive
  • there are no set of circumstances: person, place, job, business, hobby that can give you peace
  • when we make the mistake of thinking that changing our circumstances will give us peace of mind we get caught in cycles of perpetually chasing ‘better’ circumstances
  • freedom doesn’t come from getting stuff or getting rid of our responsibilities, it is a deeper freedom, it comes from within
  • the idea of a heavenly afterlife led Carla to believe she had to gut it out here on earth and get her reward later
  • freedom of mind doesn’t mean we don’t try to change systems of oppression or get free of oppression
  • we can use spiritual seeking to bypass life, we can become detached and in denial
  • you get disconnected and startlingly unempathetic
  • it comes, like all experiences, from the power of Thought
  • freedom of mind looks like not holding on tight, trying to control our experience, it’s more about opening to the aliveness of experience
  • what gets in the way of opening to experience is the belief that we can’t face loss
  • loss of things, people, physical capacity, and ultimately death
  • freedom to accept the human parts of ourselves as well as the divine parts
  • spiritual bypassing can deny the messiness of our human experience
  • this urge to only share our wins, our magazine smiles, denies the screw-ups in our life
  • when people share their messy sides, it feels more authentic, more trustworthy
  • It’s not either divine or human, we’re both human and divine
  • when things are in opposition, the conflict or tension takes all the oxygen
  • then we look to escape either into base human desires or spiritual detachment
  • we miss so much when we get caught in the opposition of things
  • when we open to both, the divine enriches our humanness and vice versa
  • you can connect to the divine parts of you without all the dogma and judgment
  • when Juliet went offline, she discovered so much more time available
  • it’s similar to when we stop paying attention from all our controlling, judgemental, insecure, constricting thoughts: there’s so much more space
  • when Carla lived in Vermont with limited internet, she felt really open and enjoyed nature more than before
  • it’s similar to what happens when the noise in our minds settles down
  • we’ve lost connection to ourselves
  • the root of freedom is connection with our deepest self

Quotes and References

  • Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
  • Grit and Grace by Ken Wilbur

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word, we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 

CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

CONNECT WITH US!

If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.

Celebration isn’t Just for Special Occasions

Here’s what we explored:

  • often we celebrate the big events but not our successes along the way
  • are we rushing on to the next thing, without taking time to celebrate?
  • when we complete something, celebrating can replenish us
  • the brain’s negativity bias can keep us from enjoying the good, the true, and the beautiful
  • can we intentionally look for the good, the true, and the beautiful?
  • it can feel a bit threatening to the primitive brain that wants to stay in hyper-vigilant mode
  • when we feel good it can induce a bit of panic, fearing the other shoe is going to drop
  • well, the other shoe is going to drop!
  • if we worry less, we are more resourced to deal with it when it happens
  • to be relaxed is to drop your guard – over-ride the primitive urge
  • celebrating is a way to intentionally over-ride that
  • we feel a little more inspiration, a surge of energy, a little more motivation
  • the sound and feel of celebration is just such a lovely invitation
  • ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’
  • if we wait for the world to give us something to celebrate and stay in vigilance, we will only see what’s wrong
  • what we bring to life, we get: bring celebration to life and we find things to celebrate
  • does reward have to be based on productivity, output, speed, and numbers?
  • what if we celebrated waking up, the fact the sun rose, we have clean air?
  • celebration is connected to wonder
  • when you wonder at the miracle of Life, it releases so much fun, gratitude, and joy
  • we can become burdened by the responsibility of taking care of others in business or our family and lose our ability to enjoy our lives
  • we’ve made a false correlation between ‘hard work’ and output
  • we falsely believe that if we’re not working hard, there must be something wrong
  • when we believe that seriousness and stress are necessary for productivity, we live in the feeling of seriousness and stress
  • when we look to enjoy what we do, we’ll get that feeling of enjoyment
  • sounds too simple but try it for yourselves
  • we learn best from play
  • often our initial success is done without too much thinking
  • celebration can restore that playfulness
  • when we don’t think there’s anything on it we are more responsive
  • when our state of mind goes down in the basement, everything looks difficult and very compelling
  • in that state of mind, our view gets constricted and we get exactly that experience of things being difficult
  • when we are light-hearted, our mind is open and we get in the flow and things feel easy and fun
  • we experience that putting this podcast together
  • fascinating to see how our business can thrive without the experience of stress and struggle
  • interruptions for example can become a big problem if we get really serious about them
  • if we don’t take interruptions so seriously we can surf the wave of interruptions and be flexible, even find unexpected treasure in interruptions
  • a shift in perspective can be so helpful
  • it’s interesting to look closely at what we are telling ourselves about productivity
  • are we missing the heart of things, the possibility of connection and joy in every interaction
  • our opinions get us into trouble
  • what is before our opinions?
  • when we get less fascinated with our opinions, we get to smell the roses more and enjoy life more
  • connected conversations are so nourishing
  • when we are not feeling connected with ourselves and Life, celebration can be a way of connecting with divine spirit
  • Carla and Juliet are in the business of connection
  • when we are constricted, we feel more separate and so the primitive brain responses get louder
  • when we are in connected conversation, we psychologically relax and we get access to more wisdom
  • we can notice this with pets: we don’t have so much thinking, so we get to enjoy them
  • if we look before thought and feeling, we can find more space
  • the sky is like our essence, it is always there, storm clouds, like thoughts and feelings, come and go
  • when we measure how we’re doing by how we feel, we are missing the ever-present sky
  • there’s less to do when we realise thoughts and feelings are just passing through. No need to comment on them, rearrange them or figure out where they came from.
  • as humans, we have all kinds of thoughts and feelings all day long
  • we can bring celebration to life. Try it!

Quotes and References

  • Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
  • Long Strange Trip – a documentary about Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead
  • In Quest of the Pearl by Sydney Banks
  • Rocket Man 2019 film about Elton John’s early years
  • Pinky Piglet the blind, deaf dog on Facebook

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 

CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

CONNECT WITH US!

If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.

Getting Playful Amid Chaos

Here’s what we explored:

  • what about having a little bit of fun every day?
  • sometimes there can be a kind of pride around being ‘sophisticated’
  • silliness can feel like being out of control
  • a light heart is so much more helpful in so called ‘serious’ situations
  • when you get down and serious with others who are down and serious, everything just gets more heavy and serious
  • do we just need permission to bring more playfulness to life?
  • a light heart invites others to lighten up
  • we’re not talking about tone-deaf joking around when others are suffering
  • light-hearted memes and gifs in the midst of difficult situations can bring a moment of lightness and relief
  • those moments of lightness and relief open space for fresh thinking
  • seriousness doesn’t feel too good and is often a barrier to understanding
  • a lighter heart opens self and others to more openness, curiosity, and tenderness
  • the brain loves play: we feel better and find more flow
  • how does playfulness help the bottom line?
  • you have to rest and restore to be effective at looking after the bottom line
  • is playfulness a superpower?
  • a definition of success: being happy with who we are, what we have, and what we are doing, right now
  • when you allow yourself to enjoy what you’re doing, it isn’t just a more pleasurable experience, it impacts what you’re doing
  • innocently we say, I can’t be happy until I’m good at this task/job/project?
  • we may notice that playfulness is easy in some areas of life, eg.photography for Carla
  • in other areas we may bring lots of fear and judgment to things, believing we have to get it right
  • when we ‘enjoy’ tasks, it’s simply because we don’t have too much thinking on our mind
  • it’s cool to notice we may be holding heavy, serious perceptions about a task which we aren’t actually doing right now
  • sometimes we hold these perceptions in our imagination and experience all the seriousness of our thinking, mistakenly believing it is the task giving us the experience
  • a great question for journaling: what would this look like, if it was easy?
  • you bring your state of mind to life not the other way round
  • if you are in an irritated state of mind, everything in your awareness will feel irritating
  • you are literally living in the experience of irritation
  • any moment has the possibility to be anything in your experience
  • you can’t focus on the problem and the solution at the same time
  • problem thinking creates an experience of problems
  • perfectionism is a joy killer
  • getting something 80% done, is good enough
  • you can always refine and upgrade
  • when we are tight and serious and constricted around something, it is hard going
  • as an experiment: what would it be like to go into something totally playful and curious. Try it with something that is not high stakes
  • when we deeply realise the wholeness at our core, we get less interested in striving to be perfect
  • people want a richer internal life, why wouldn’t they?
  • Carla is seeing clients recognising the toxicity of the perfectionist culture and she encourages them to get more real
  • finding the courage to go into something with more authenticity. Dropping the masks
  • stand in your own knowing when you get ideas that seem left field
  • this time is fertile ground for innovation: for new ideas to emerge, for people who don’t consider themselves as leaders to come forward
  • when we are being authentic and true to what resonates, people are attracted to that
  • they are attracted to the quiet knowing rather than the idea itself
  • we’re here to invite each other into a quieter space and what people will do in that space is up to them
  • it’s an exciting time
  • we invite listeners to experiment with more playfulness in their lives

Quotes and References

  • Painting with John (HBO series)
  • Kintsugi – Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with golden lacquer

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 

CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

CONNECT WITH US!

If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.

Simplicity 2: Enjoying What We Have

Here’s what we explored:

  • high achievers can feel excited to have certain things eg the right watch
  • but also there’s a pressure to live in certain places, wear the right things
  • and they report some incongruity and concern around these urges
  • having lived large and small, Carla’s preference is to live in a small, uncluttered space
  • we can get caught in a misunderstanding that our security or happiness rests in having certain things
  • it’s interesting to notice the arc of desire, anticipation, and satisfaction
  • the satisfaction remains for a while but before long there’ll be something else glittering on the horizon and so the cycle begins again
  • deep down we know wellbeing and security doesn’t reside in stuff
  • if you deeply know wellbeing and happiness come from within then there’s greater freedom around stuff – you can get and enjoy things with a lighter heart
  • what meaning are you putting on your possessions?
  • our material wealth says nothing about who we are at our essence
  • when we confuse where our wellbeing rests, we suffer, feeling tense around getting and keeping material wealth
  • we’re inundated with messages that point us in every direction (except within) to find happiness
  • it isn’t the availability of stuff but our perception of material possessions that gives us our experience
  • we relate to material possessions through our own stories, conditioning, and beliefs and this is often the source of our angst
  • tune in, before all our stories and from that still place, what is your feeling about this item?
  • Carla’s story about make up illustrates how our stories can fall away and when they do our behaviour may change
  • when we realise we are doing things, acquiring things, or presenting ourselves in ways that feel off, it is because deep down we know we have all we need inside so putting so much importance on stuff doesn’t resonate
  • the freedom comes when we don’t have so much riding on what we have, then we can get things that appeal to us and just enjoy them
  • the feeling of how we live moment to moment gives us our experience; not our possessions
  • as we understand deeper and deeper how our experience gets created, more and more of our stories get visible to us
  • the masks begin to drop away more and more and we get more real
  • the divine, the mundane, and the messiness are all part of who we are
  • the experience you are having at this moment is all you have: some feel lousy, some feel great
  • mostly we meet our experience through the complexity of layers and layers of stories and so life looks difficult and complex
  • our stories can act as barriers to others, increasing the feeling of separation
  • the super-rich often remove themselves from close contact with their community believing that gives them a better experience of life. Does it?
  • we all have periods of feeling insecure about relationships, jobs, money whatever our level of material wealth
  • the richness of experience available from within is in a different league to the buzz of a fancy meal or a nice car
  • as we discover inner peace, contentment, and joy that isn’t dependent on circumstance, we get to enjoy everything more because there is less on it
  • it goes way deeper and is way more nourishing than the short term dopamine hit of a new purchase
  • what you seek does not exist outside of yourself: it is within
  • a definition of success: being happy with who you are, what you have and what you do
  • when you start with being happy right where you are, you create more space, more possibility
  • happiness is available in any situation: in good times and bad times
  • when we are scared of losing things, it’s a sign we are confused about where wellbeing truly comes from
  • once we realise where well-being resides, there is so much more freedom to play the game of life

Quotes and References

  • @thefemalelead Instagram
  • Grace and Grit by Ken Wilbur

Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. If you like this podcast, please rate, review and share it. It all helps spread the word we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

Sign up to receive Carla’s weekly newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and tips for living with more ease and flow – Subscribe 

CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

Sign up for her latest insights, essays, poems, and inspirational programmes direct to your inbox – Subscribe

Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

CONNECT WITH US!

If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

You can do that HERE ! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on new episodes dropping every week. And don’t forget to share it with your friends!

Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.

Simplicity | An Inside Job

Here’s what we explored:

  • when people try and fix us or our problems it’s not helpful, it can be disempowering
  • what about not offering solutions to others?
  • what if we have faith that others can figure things out?
  • what if we wait to be asked for advice?
  • the simplicity and power of just being present with someone is under-estimated
  • wanting to fix others is usually about the fixer’s ego
  • fixers often can’t tolerate someone’s else’s pain or discomfort
  • fixing is often about the fixer feeling better
  • to have someone sit with you when you are hurt, confused or angry is incredibly powerful
  • Carla talks about an initial conversation she has with prospective clients where she doesn’t coach but listens deeply and asks questions
  • what if we don’t need a bag of tools and techniques to deal with work, family or finances?
  • what if bringing the simplicity of listening with a tender, open-heart is all we need?
  • a psychological relaxation is a kind of dropping down under our thoughts rather than trying to control or argue with our thoughts
  • listening to understand means listening with an open minded curiosity
  • when we are too in love with our own great ideas we stop listening
  • when people are going through difficult life challenges, we can worry about what to say or do.
  • Just show up and be present and see what occurs
  • support (for ourselves and others) can be incredibly simple
  • sometimes we don’t need words, so much is carried on the feeling, more than we realise
  • in a constricted tense mind, it’s almost impossible to come up with solutions
  • also in a numb, zoned out mind, problems can seem overwhelming
  • that deeper, peaceful feeling is never far away
  • we can discover the possibility of a little reboot at any odd moment
  • gentle encouragement to look towards a deeper experience
  • trying to force our mind into any particular state tends to just get in the way – more busy thinking
  • how is it we can switch out of a low mood for example, when we have a work call?
  • fresh thought gives us a fresh experience
  • if you deeply realise that, it begins to change your relationship to how you feel
  • state of mind is fluid: notice how much it changes through the day
  • when you feel state of mind gives us an experience of irritability
  • if you try to solve a problem from that irritable state, everything you look at will be experienced as irritating
  • what about long term depression, how do you get over that?
  • there is a deeper dimension that is beyond or before your mood
  • when we begin to see that all our feelings are coming from inside of us, there is a freedom in recognising that
  • often we add a pile of judgement, analysis and shame on how we feel and so we have the experience of being shamed, wrong, not good enough
  • grieving is healthy, it’s a way of coming back to equilibrium if we allow ourselves to experience it wholeheartedly
  • then it doesn’t feel as sticky
  • our psychological system will come back to equilibrium
  • there is a way to feel more grounded through what we think of as difficult emotions
  • when we expand into how we feel, huge arms of love wrapped around whatever we are feeling: grief, mean-ness
  • we are participants and creators in the experience we are having
  • as we get insights around where our experience is coming from, our relationship to our moods begins to change
  • our capacity to feel, to feel love, and appreciate everyday beauty, expands
  • the need to control begins to fall away
  • the control, analysis, and judgment takes so much energy
  • wonder about that still space before our thoughts and feelings
  • we touch that space all the time, it’s ordinary, but we overlook it

Quotes and Reference

  • Adyashanti – on many social media platforms

Thank you for listening. What are you seeing around simplicity? We’d love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. We’d love this podcast to reach a wider audience and point more people to their own wisdom, so please like and share it. It all helps and we appreciate it.

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website – CarlaRoyal.com

Facebook – Carla Royal Coach

Linkedin – Carla Royal

Instagram – CarlaRoyalCoach

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CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life. 

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Website – Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook – Solcare

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If you love The Riffing on Realness Podcast, rate the podcast and/or write us a review! 

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Thank you for listening and being a part of this community! It means a lot to us!

Finally, are there topics you’d like us to cover? Please let us know.